What I have been up to

It has been a busy year so far.
First we moved from our beautiful Cortina rental (boo whoo). We enjoyed living there and loved our landlord. Such a blessing, since we hadnt had a land lord in 11 years.

We moved in with my cousin and his family, The Loars. It has been fun, lots of fun, busy and hot. ...I dont do hot too well.

Last week we signed a lease to move into a small rental house, in the Lehi area of Mesa. It is a mile and a half from my childhood home. Kinda weird.

Meanwhile, I have become the mother to 5 geese, 4 ducks and about 25 chickens. I love them, this has been such a great experience. We will have to downsize when we move in a few weeks but we will take 6 chickens with us, I need to find homes for the rest of them.

I am grateful for my blessings, my family and freinds. Life is good. ( and hard sometimes)

Well, hello??

I have not posted in....oh....8 months, pretty much the whole year. Things to do. I have been busy on my projects, well, some of them. I am working towards the goal of reaching al of them. Things to do, things to do.....

Day 1

So my first day was good..... Except I was so tired I forgot and almost slept in!

I was so excited when my BFF Kristi called me to go to lunch with her. We had Thai food, one of my favorites and then I headed of to the temple, what a beautiful place.

I sat in the Celestial room for almost an hour and was just quite, I put my whole body into it. It was so refreshing and centering.

Such a great way to start out on my journey.

Happy New Year!

Happy New year! Yes, I do know that I am 24 days late for my Happy New Year greeting.

But, for me, this is when I celebrate the new year. When I was in high school, my friends and I, after a great day exploring the Salt River, declared that day to be Karmisian New Year. Karmisian being the movement we started, a movement to reflect joy, happiness, laughing, nature and exploring.

So I have every year since I have celebrated January 25th as New Year.

This year I am doing some exploring. Exploring and some soul searching, to find myself, again. But, I am also on a mission to find myself as God sees me. As his daughter.
I have struggled with self worth for many years. I do not recognize myself to often in the mirror and I find myself not sure that I am worth the space I take on this earth. And yet I know that I can accomplish great things, worthwhile things, beautiful things, because I am a child of God. And God don't make no junk!

So....this blog is for my journal on this year long adventure.

Here are my rules-

1. Set a daily routine of
-personal prayer
-scripture study
-physical exercise
-healthy meal planning, eating
-get up at 6 am, get dressed (with the make-up and hair)
-set a daily goal
-daily blog entry

2.Live frugally
Kinda scary

3. Teach my children

4. Have a house of order

5. Streamline my belongings

6. Be a stay at home mom
Treat Monday - Friday as work days 8-5
with an hour for lunch

7. Attend the temple weekly

8. Use my talents, to improve my life and the life of others

9. Find enjoyment in my divine worth

10. Practice those qualities that are "woman's work"

11. Be a caretaker of creation

12. Make known God's wonderful works.

Yes, I know, sounds like a big list. It is suppose to be a big list. A risky major surgery on this life of mine.

I have a great husband, three unbelievable kids, a great extended family. I have an incredible best friend and many good friends. I have been blessed with many talents. I have a roof over my head and a car that is paid for. I have much to be grateful for.

Yet, I feel so unfulfilled. Often I struggle with depression, irritation and sadness. I feel that I have wasted my time and talents, or in other words God's time and talents. I want to be worthy of them.

So I started praying and meditating on the question-Could I find happiness in magnifying my divine rights and callings? Would I find deep fulfillment in being a woman?

I have never felt that I could not do anything that I wanted. The E.R.A.'s big days where really before my time. The only time that I feel that I am not respected is at the mechanic.

This time we live in has really blurred the rolls of gender.

I am grateful that my friends and family that are single can support them selves and their families. The flip side is that society almost frowns on any one who puts the traditional role of a woman down. I have felt pressure that being a housewife is beneath me. That now that my kids are in school I should be a career woman.

Yet some where in the back of my mind and deep with in my heart, I know that is where I belong. That it is in the home that I am of most value. I sense a deep peace in this and some concerns on how to accomplish it.

We have struggled with the economy. Lost our home, lost our retirement, our business and health insurance. We can't afford to put braces on our kids or family vacations. The car has 140,000 miles on it and it has to last. Some weeks we can't afford to put food on the table. So it seems only reasonable for me to get a job.

And then I hear that still small voice call me back to being a mom, a wife and a homemaker. So I will put my faith and hope in God. Pray for his guidance and turn my burdens over to him.

And get to work.